Remembering Your Loved Ones This Holiday Season

For most, the holiday season will be a time filled with joy, fun, gifts, great food and spending time with special people and loved ones.  For others, it may be a time of sadness and broken hearts especially if they have lost a loved one during the past year.  Losing a loved one is never easy and first occasions following their passing such as birthdays, anniversaries and special holidays like Christmas can be especially difficult as there will be an emptiness felt with their absence.  Nothing anyone can say or do will seem to make it easier.  It is simply a journey that everyone will have to take at some point in their lifetime.  And, depending on the circumstances surrounding their departure (i.e. expected or not, young or old) this may have some bearing on the intensity of ones grief; however, grief is grief and it is real.  Embrace it.

I encourage families that I work with to embrace their loved one's memory during the holiday season.  As difficult as it will be, try to talk about them and times shared together.  Try not to allow the 'elephant in the room' to exist.  Just because their physical being is no longer present does not mean conversations about them should not occur.  Perhaps there was a special holiday tradition they were responsible for or participated in.  Continue these traditions in their honour.  Perhaps raise a glass of wine and toast them, giving gratitude for the many holidays you shared together.  Is there a special candle you can light in their memory?  Let the light from it warm your heart and environment; let it bring peace for they truly never leave; they are always present in your heart.  It is okay to cry; you miss them.  Try not to worry that you will upset others.  Your pain is your pain.  Speak freely of them; laugh at funny memories, roll your eyes at their quirks, share stories with others of the things you used to do with them.  All of these things will keep them alive in your heart forever.  No one can take this away from you.  It won't be an easy time however it shouldn't be a time where they are not mentioned and remembered for they were a big part of your life.  You can get through it; it just takes a bit of courage, strength and the belief that they would want you to remember them during the holidays as though they were sitting next to you.  The great news is that they are in your heart continuing to love you.

Have a joyous and peace filled holiday season.

Love, Todd